Back in the olden days, when people used to go to stores, one of my favorite stores to peruse was Hallmark. I used to love to meander through the aisles and pick up cards, feeling my heart strings pull with each one. Sometimes, I was searching for the perfect card for a certain occasion. I loved picking up the Between You and Me cards. (Now, only found on eBay, apparently.) Maybe I was searching for a birthday card for my Mom, or a thank you card for my Dad, or perhaphs an I’m here for you card for a friend. Whatever I was looking for I knew I could find it at Hallmark. More often than not, I would find the perfect sentiments in the Between You and Me section. Once I selected my card, I’d wipe the inevitable tears from my eyes before taking it to the counter and handing over several dollars knowing that the card in my hand was worth every penny.

More recently, I’ve had a different experience.

I walk into Hallmark, hopeful at finding the perfect words to express something to someone. Maybe a birthday card for my sister, a card of love and appreciation for Chad, a birthday card for my dad. Each time, however, I find myself disappointed in the selection. I pick up card after card and return it to its slot feeling uninspired. Where are the sweet words that cut right to the point? Words of love and appreciation and heart? Not terribly long ago, I mentioned to Chad, I don’t know why I bother with Hallmark anymore, I never find anything. I’ve switched to writing notes on blank paper from notes in folded cardboard with the Hallmark emblem on the back. I wonder if stuffed animals, chocolates, gift wrap, ornaments, journals, puzzles and other various items (junk?) over took the writers who used to dig deep and deliever beautiful words that felt as if they were written specifically for your loved one. At least, for my loved one.

Last week, days before Meadow’s birthday, I was driving through town and, on a whim, I pulled into Hallmark. I had a few moments before meeting a friend and I thought, might as well waste some time. I walked into the store and moments later, to my great surprise, I found the perfect card. I won’t share it all, but in part, these were the words:


Right from the start, you’ve added your own kind of MAGIC to life.

You’ve added your own

kind of MAGIC to life.
You’ve turned little moments

into memories

and ordeinary days

into unforgettable ones.

I’m not sure I could have found more perfect word

Meadow turned 13 yesterday and today I take a moment to write for her.

Meadow,

Thirteen years (and one day) ago, you came into this world and blessed us with your presence. At the time, we didn’t know what we were missing. Charlie was six years old and Chanelle was four. From the outside looking in, all looked “perfect”. Two kids, two parents. Two boys, two girls. At one point, someone looked at us and said, why would you mess with this? They saw we had our boy and our girl, all was perfect.

God knew better.

God knew we needed something. And not just anything—we needed Meadow.

A year and a half before you were born, my Mom died. And while that may seem like a lifetime to you, in my heart, it is hard to untangle the loss of my Mom from the blessing of you. Sure, there was joy and laughter and happiness in that year and a half between the day we lost my Mom and the day we gained you, but when you were born, something too deep for words broke free. The joy I felt that day is indescribable. For the first time since my Mom died, the joy that I felt wasn’t tinged with a sprinkling of saddness becasue she wasn’t here. When you were born, I only felt pure, uninhibited joy.

In the days, weeks, and months after you were born, I spent an embarassing amount of time just staring at you. Marveling at your dark hair, your tiny nose, the hemangioma on your cheek, your tiny fingers, your toes, your breathing, your movements—YOU. I had no idea then, the person you would become. The laughter you would add to our home. Your quirkiness that makes us laugh, your uniquenss that makes us shake our head, your heart that has opened our home to more animals than I’d like to admit.

The truth is, Meadow, we needed you and God knew it. He knew that you would spark a fire in our household that otherwise, may have never burned. I will be forever thankful that God knew what we didn’t—we needed Meadow.

Your dad and I talk often about how much my Mom would have delighted in you. She was quirky like you. She walked to the beat of her own drum like you. She was who she was and there was nothing more to it. Sometimes, in my mind, I imagine what it would be like if the two of you would meet. And while I can’t be sure, I suspect you’d get into some trouble together. The best kind of trouble that would bring laughter to all who know you.

And while I realize that will never happen, know this, she would adore you like the rest of us do.

Meadow, I am so proud of who you are. I am eternally grateful that I get to be your Mom. I can’t imagine a world without you in it. I certainly cannot imagine my world without you in it.

Thank you for your heart. Your love. Your laughter. Your uniqueness. Your sarcasm. Your spunkiness. Your humor. Our family is better becasue you’re a part of it.

My world is better becasue your in it.

Watching you grow is one of my favorite things.

Happy 13th Birthday, Sweet Girl.

Love,


Mom